Monday, November 21, 2011

Pizza (Food)

Now if only cheeseburgers could be
considered dairy.
Finally, no more green peas, broccoli, beans, tomatoes, carrots, celery, and all of those other foods that everyone hates anyway.  Congress really buckled down recently to push out this important legislation to make pizza a vegetable.  Its a good thing that rioting, an unstable economy, and a war that is still going did not impede the ability to work on real issues facing all Americans.

They're both triangles, makes
sense.
So why has Congress decided to make pizza a vegetable...the answer is obvious, Obama.  The Obama Administration wanted tomato paste and puree to equally represent the equivalent serving size.  Currently, a serving of vegetables is the size of a full tomato or a full cup of whatever vegetable you wish (two cups in the case of lettuce and such)  However, in the case tomato paste and puree, only an eighth of a cup is the equivalent to a half a severing of vegetables (a full cup of tomato paste and puree is considered a full serving of vegetables).  Essentially, this measurement representing the non-fact that less is more, helps the industries that make the frozen pizza and lunches for schools.  So since Obama's master plan of controlling children's diets has been blocked, the slabs of square pizza that were so delicious in high school can remain a "healthy" part of a balanced lunch.  Apparently, supplying students with a carrot in addition to lunch menu is just too much for "Pizza Fridays."
Only the best for our children.

This is an example of two major problems with Congress.  First, that taxpayers are paying for these sort of decisions.  What a waste.  Second, that Congress also doesn't really care about the health of the young people in this country.  Sure, on a nutritional level an eighth of a cup of tomato paste can be comparable (not the equivalent) to a half a piece of fruit in some areas.  However, you are not getting as full as you would eating the fruit and you are consuming about 33 times more sodium, more than twice as much fat, and almost three times more sugar in doing so.

So with that said, happy eating America.  You can rest assured that whenever you eat a slice of pizza you could now be more guilt free because Congress used money and influence rather than science and facts to tell this country what's healthy and what could be just as good as healthy.  Expect the amount of pepperoni and cheese on a slice of pizza to be proportional to what is expected of dairy and meat intakes during lunchtime.  This way anyone eating frozen pizza for lunch could have the ultimate meal by the meager standards of the US government.

18 comments:

  1. Another step back for mankind--you would think by now we would have realized that "you are [in fact] what you eat". Of course, an overweight and sick population does wonders for revenue for the pharmacuetical and medical industry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. the food pyramid and pizza slice comparison is spot on hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I found the picture on the internets. I just re-posted it. Credit goes to someone funnier than me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The benefits of eating organic foods are numerous. With it becoming more and more popular to eat organically, it is becoming easier and a little more affordable to purchase organic foods. Local farmers' markets, health food stores, and even Walmart cater to those who eat organically. Cow Ghee

    ReplyDelete
  5. The benefits of eating organic foods are numerous. With it becoming more and more popular to eat organically, it is becoming easier and a little more affordable to purchase organic foods. Local farmers' markets, health food stores, and even Walmart cater to those who eat organically. mexican recipes

    ReplyDelete
  6. Are you still searching for the best quality dog foods for your precious pup? Still trying to figure out how to read that dog food label? Find simple answers together with your furry friend.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The benefits of eating organic foods are numerous. With it becoming more and more popular to eat organically, it is becoming easier and a little more affordable to purchase organic foods. Local farmers' markets, health food stores, and even Walmart cater to those who eat organically. giá chanh không hạt

    ReplyDelete
  8. This article will show you the best strategies for shopping for your weight loss foods. Among the topics discussed will be: 1. What supermarkets to shop at. 2. What to look for in foods to buy. 3. How to choose the highest quality foods. 4. How to make sure you are getting the most value for your buck. Cultured ghee benefits

    ReplyDelete
  9. The benefits of eating organic foods are numerous. With it becoming more and more popular to eat organically, it is becoming easier and a little more affordable to purchase organic foods. Local farmers' markets, health food stores, and even Walmart cater to those who eat organically. Best cast iron skillet for camping

    ReplyDelete
  10. Regular consumption of vegetables would help you and your family prevent chronic illnesses such as heart disease, stroke, hypertension, diabetes type 2, and some types of cancer. However, for whatever reasons and in spite of constant medical news about the benefits of these foods, we still don't eat enough of them. carote

    ReplyDelete
  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The benefits of eating organic foods are numerous. With it becoming more and more popular to eat organically, it is becoming easier and a little more affordable to purchase organic foods. Local farmers' markets, health food stores, and even Walmart cater to those who eat organically. Chinese love to eat goodies

    ReplyDelete
  13. The benefits of eating organic foods are numerous. With it becoming more and more popular to eat organically, it is becoming easier and a little more affordable to purchase organic foods. Local farmers' markets, health food stores, and even Walmart cater to those who eat organically. https://golden-corral-complete-details-ultimate-guide-91.webselfsite.net/

    ReplyDelete
  14. The benefits of eating organic foods are numerous. With it becoming more and more popular to eat organically, it is becoming easier and a little more affordable to purchase organic foods. Local farmers' markets, health food stores, and even Walmart cater to those who eat organically. check pineapple tart Singapore

    ReplyDelete
  15. This article will show you the best strategies for shopping for your weight loss foods. Among the topics discussed will be: 1. What supermarkets to shop at. 2. What to look for in foods to buy. 3. How to choose the highest quality foods. 4. How to make sure you are getting the most value for your buck. A2 Cow Ghee

    ReplyDelete
  16. Are you still searching for the best quality dog foods for your precious pup? Still trying to figure out how to read that dog food label? Find simple answers together with your furry friend. 먹튀검증토토

    ReplyDelete
  17. Your garden bench shouldn't be just any bench. There are garden benches in all different shapes, styles and sizes. Having great garden bench is a great way to accentuate your garden and give it another personal touch. Wood Chipping

    ReplyDelete
  18. During his 40-year career as a garden writer and photographer, Derek Fell has designed numerous garden spaces, many involving his wife Carolyn. The best example of their work can be seen at their home, historic Cedaridge Farm, in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. There, they have designed more than twenty theme areas, including shade gardens, sunny perennial borders, tapestry gardens involving trees and shrubs, a cottage garden, herb garden, cutting garden and an ambitious water garden. Arborist Tree Removal

    ReplyDelete